Michael Gilbert

What's the Media Covering?

2008-04-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

I can’t stop thinking about the discussion on Fox News and the media in general. I’ve become critical of the media and have learned that not everything reported on the news can be taken as factual. There are a large number of opinions that are factored into news reports and it’s often difficult to decipher the fact from fiction. I don’t believe that our media diliberately reports fiction. I would argue that the majority of stories are based on facts. But uncovering those facts amongst the opinions is often the challenging part.

But as I thought of Fox News and the idea of whether or not the channel is “Fair and Balanced,” I began to think about what is on the news today. What are the news channels reporting? I’m throwing out the window for a moment whether or not it is saturated in opinions. I became curious as to what is news in America?

I think by looking at what our news stations are reporting you can kind of get a sense of what is important to Americans and more appropriately what do the few at the top who control the media see is important or newsworthy. First lets start with what isn’t important. I think it’s fair to say that the agenda for cable news is different than that of network news. According to the Project for Excellence in Journalism, cable news covered a smaller percentage domestic issues, from the environment, to transportation, health care, Social Security, welfare, education, economics, race, gender and more (Project for Excellence in Journalism, 2008).

Collectively, the broad range of domestic issues, everything except immigration, made up 13% of the the time on cable. The three topics of celebrity, crime and disasters accounted for 24% of cable’s time (Project for Excellence in Journalism, 2008).

To break this down even further, if you were to have watched 5 hours of cable news, this is what you would have seen:
35 minutes about campaigns and elections
36 minutes about the debate over U.S. foreign policy
26 mminutes or more of crime
12 minutes of accidents and disasters
10 minutes of celebrity and entertainment

On the other hand, one would have seen:
1 minute and 25 seconds about the environment
1 minute and 22 seconds about education
1 minute about science and technology
3 minutes and 34 seconds about the economy
3 minutes and 46 seconds about health and health care
(Project for Excellence in Journalism, 2008)

So when thinking about my stance on the media in general, I conclude that the issues or news I feel is most important isn’t being covered. I would like to see more news on education, the economy, and other domestic issues. I wonder why statistically there isn’t as much news coverage. The percentages regarding the campaign and election make since as well as discussion on foreign policy since we are in a war. This is evidence that regardless of if a news channel claims to be “fair and balanced”, there doesn’t seem to be a fair and balanced amount of coverage regarding all the issues that affect Americans. I guess it leaves me wondering what exactly is news and what are the classification for something to be newsworthy. I think those classifications have changed over the years and will continue to change. It makes you thankful for the advancements in technology and that you can go many places to get whatever kind of news you want. Because it’s obvious that if you turn to cable news, you are only going to get what they want to give you.

Source

The State of the News Media, An Annual Report on American Journalism. Retrieved April 13, 2008, from http://stateofthemedia.org/2008/printable_cabletv_contentanalysis.htm.

What has the power to change everything?

2008-03-31T17:20:00.000-07:00

What has the power to change everything? Power implies possession of ability to wield force, permissive authority, or substantial influence. Change implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one thing for another. Everything needs no implication; it is simply all that exists. Three powerful words that when grouped together create quite an intense question. What has the power to change everything? In a word, it is technology. Technology is one thing that has changed our world and will continue to change it. Neil Postman describes technological change as being ecological as opposed to additive. He states, “A new medium does not add something; it changes everything.” (Postman 1998).
You could create an extensive list of technological advances that have changed the way we live. History would most definitely support Postman’s statement. The technological advancements that have occurred have without question changed all that exists is some way. Some have improved our lives and planet, while others have done the absolute opposite. One can argue both sides with any new medium, but Postman provided five insightful ideas regarding technological change that help guide future thoughts on these advancements and the affect they will without a doubt have on our lives.
According to Postman these are his five ideals. First, that we always pay a price for technology; the greater the technology, the greater the price. Second, that there are always winners and losers, and that the winners always try to persuade the losers that they are really winners. Third, that there is embedded in every great technology an epistemological, political or social prejudice. Fourth, technological change is not additive, it is ecological. And fifth, technology tends to become mythic; that is perceived as part of the natural order of things, and therefore tends to control more of our lives than is good for us (Postman 1998).
Postman helps identify some key issues that have to be addressed when looking at these advancements. There are destructive facets to technology. It is often hard to see things that essentially make your life easier as destructive. Ultimately human beings are responsible for the creation of our technologies, but not letting our creations control and eventually destroy us is the challenge. It all gives the feel of some science fiction movie, but unlike the movies this is reality. We can’t exactly hit pause right before the earth is destroyed by one of our creations.
The Techology Review lists their top 10 emerging technologies of 2008. Although the emerging technologies may be hard for the average person to comprehend, they are sure to have an impact on our lives. Knowledge of these emerging technologies along with application of Postman’s five ideals can help us prepare for the change that is destined to emerge from these advancements. They have the power to change everything and they will.

1. Who: Eric Horvitz, Microsoft Research
Definition: Surprise modeling combines data mining and machine learning to help people do a better job of anticipating and coping with unusual events.
Impact: Although research in the field is preliminary, surprise modeling could aid decision makers in a wide range of domains, such as traffic management, preventive medicine, military planning, politics, business, and finance.
Context: A prototype that alerts users to surprises in Seattle traffic patterns has proved effective in field tests involving thousands of Microsoft employees. Studies investigating broader applications are now under way. (Waldrop 2008)

2. Who: Krishna Palem, Rice University
Definition: PCMOS is a microchip design technology that allows engineers to trade a small degree of accuracy in computation for substantial energy savings.
Impact: In the short term, PCMOS designs could significantly increase battery life in mobile devices; in a decade, the theories behind PCMOS may need to be invoked if Moore’s Law is to continue to hold.
Context: Palem and his collaborators have begun building test chips for specific applications; Palem is working on plans for startup companies to commercialize the technology. (Jonietz 2008)

3. Who: Alex Zettl, University of California, Berkeley
Definition: At the core of the nanoradio is a single molecule that can receive radio signals.
Impact: Tiny radio devices could improve cell phones and allow communication between tiny devices, such as environmental sensors.
Context: New nanotech tools are allowing researchers to fabricate very small devices. The nanoradio is one of the latest. (Service 2008)

4. Who: Marin Soljacic, MIT
Definition: Wireless power technology transmits electricity to devices without the use of cables.
Impact: Any low-power device, such as a cell phone, iPod, or laptop, could recharge automatically simply by coming within range of a wireless power source, eliminating the need for multiple cables—and perhaps, eventually, for batteries.
Context: Eliminating the power cord would make today’s ubiquitous portable electronics truly wireless. A number of researchers and startups are making headway in this growing field. (Chu 2008)

5. Who: John Kitching, U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology
Definition: Miniaturized atomic magnetometers the size of a grain of rice require little power and are sensitive to very weak magnetic fields.
Impact: Tiny, inexpensive magnetometers could lead to portable MRI machines, tools for detecting buried explosive devices, and ways to evaluate mineral deposits remotely.
Context: Kitching's miniaturization of these sensors could bring them into much wider use in the coming decade. (Bourzac 2008)

6. Who: Kevin Lynch, Adobe Systems
Definition: Offline Web applications, developed using Web technologies such as HTML and Flash, can take advantage of the resources of a user’s computer as well as those of the Internet.
Impact: Developers can quickly and cheaply build full-fledged desktop applications that are usable in a broad range of devices and operating systems.
Context: Adobe will release AIR early this year; companies such as eBay, AOL, and Anthropologie have built applications using early versions of the software. Google is working on a competing platform called Gears (Naone 2008).

7. Who: Walter de Heer, Georgia Tech
Definition: Transistors based on graphene, a carbon material one atom thick, could have extraordinary electronic properties.
Impact: Initial applications will be in ultrahigh-speed communications chips, with computer processors to follow.
Context: A number of academic researchers and several electronics companies are studying graphene-based electronics. (Bullis 2008).

8. Who: Jeff Lichtman, Harvard University
Definition: Connectomics aims to map all synaptic connections between neurons in the mammalian brain.
Impact: The wiring diagrams being generated should lead to better understanding of diseases such as autism and schizophrenia, as well as new insight into learning and other cognitive functions.
Context: Advances in imaging, molecular biology, and computation are converging to make it possible to generate these complex maps. (Singer 2008)

9. Who: Sandy Pentland, MIT
Definition: Personal reality mining infers human relationships and behavior by applying data-mining algorithms to information collected by cell-phone sensors that can measure location, physical activity, and more.
Impact: Models generated by analyzing data from both individuals and groups could enable automated security settings, smart personal assistants, and monitoring of personal and community health.
Context: Cell phones are now sophisticated enough to collect and analyze data on personal behavior, and researchers are developing techniques that allow them to effectively sort through such information. (Greene 2008)

10. Who: Frances Arnold, Caltech
Definition: Cellulolytic enzymes break down the cellulose found in biomass so it can be used as a feedstock for biofuels.
Impact: Increased use of cellulosic biofuels could cut greenhouse-gas emissions and reduce reliance on oil.
Context: Processes for making cellulosic biofuels are still too expensive to be practical. A number of companies are racing to find a solution. (Goho 2008)

Resources

Bourzac, K., (March 2008). TR10: Atomic Magnetometers. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20239.

Bullis, K., (March 2008). TR10: Graphene Transistors. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20242.

Chu, J., (March 2008). TR10: Wireless Power. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20248.

Goho, A. M., (March 2008). TR10: Cellulolytic Enzymes. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20240.

Greene, K., (March 2008). TR10: Reality Mining. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20247.

Jonietz, E. (March 2008). TR10: Probabilistic Chips. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20246.

Naone, E., (March 2008). TR10: Offline Web Applications. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20245.

Postman, N., (1998). Five Things We Need to Know About Technological Change. Retrived March 29, 2008, from http://www.mat.upm.es/~jcm/neil-postman--five-things.html.

Service, R. F., (March 2008). TR10: NanoRadio. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20244.

Singer, E., (March 2008). TR10: Connectomics. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20241.

Waldrop, M. M., (March 2008). TR10: Modeling Surprise. Retrieved March 29, 2008, from http://www.technologyreview.com/read_article.aspx?ch=specialsections&sc=emerging08&id=20243.

Life Scripted

2008-03-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

I wish there was a script to life. Of course I don't really mean this, but just let me go with this for a minute...

Too many decisions to make. I often wish that I could just flip a few pages ahead and see the outcome. I often overthink everything and that is where this post is coming from today.

I have work woes today. I really love my company and enjoy the ideal of what I'm doing, but there are so many other things that create a mountain of frustration that often seems impossible to climb. I know everyone has issues with their job and I'm trying hard to keep things positive... I'm going to change the subject. No work talk today.

I'm still having problems with my right leg. I went to the doctor and he basically told me it was fine. I'm not so sure it is...but I'm trying to work through it. I'm believing the doctor for now, but if it continues to bother me I will go elsewhere for a second opinion.

I got my haircut yesterday. Not sure why. I guess I just wanted a change. I told myself I was going to grow my hair out. But like with most things in my life...I'm impulsive and of course change my mind. Which again going back to the script, it would have been nice to read a chapter or two ahead and see what was going on. Of course it's just hair...but that is just a metaphor for something else... I guess. Haha.

Okay back to work for me. I'm working for the weekend!

Marathon Woes

2008-03-22T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day in Santa Monica. I couldn't wait to get outside! I've been having bad shin splints in my right leg, so I decided to skip my run on Thursday and rest my leg. I've been icing it nightly, but it's been pretty painful. I decided to go ahead and do my run today because I didn't want to skip two days of training this week. It was painful at first, but seemed to get better throughout the run. This is a taper week so we only have to do 8 miles tomorrow. I'm hoping my leg is not sore in the morning.

Tomorrow is Easter and it makes me miss my family. Easter Sunday was always a big family day and we normally went to Grandma's church, even though she is the only one that still likes that church. But out of respect, we normally attended her church. I'm going to go to a church here in LA. But no easter egg hunting or anything like that. It really doesn't feel like Easter here. We are suppose to have another day of beautiful weather tomorrow...so that is something to look forward to.

Grad school is taking up a good amount of time. I definitely think it's harder than I thought it would be. It's hard to find a balance between work, school, and training. I'm managing so far, but sometimes I feel like I don't get a break.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder..? What do I think about long distance relationships? Well I'm not sure yet, but I do have a new girl in my life. Too early to tell what's going on but, she's great. She makes me smile.

That's all I have to say about that right now.

Gotta get to bed. I have to wake up early for my run. I like the team runs on Sunday.

Happy Easter!

Thank you God for your saving grace!

I'm back...

2008-03-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since my last entry. That is not good blogging on my behalf. I've been pretty busy with work, school, and the marathon training. I think I have too much on my plate to deal with right now, but so far I've been able to balance it all okay.

Life is good right now. Since I last updated my blog, I took a refreshing trip home back to Oklahoma to see friends and family. Those trips are always needed.

Marathon training is a lot of fun. Running has become a hobby of mine. Longest run so far has been 10 miles! It's really awesome to set a distance goal and then acheive it. It's a really great feeling.

I'm in a good place right now... The past is yesterday and today is now...

Cheers.

St. Louis bound...

2008-02-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

I know, I know... I haven't posted in a while. Things have been busy. Marathon training is going well. I did skip a run the other day because I was too busy, but I'm making it up tonight. Work has been steady and I'm preparing for a business trip to St. Louis for 5 days. I hope the trip goes well. I'm looking forward to it for the most part.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day... I hardly noticed. I'm not bitter...but I really hardly noticed.

I've been in a good place lately. Not sure why, but I'll take it. Maybe it's been the sunshine...

Barack Obama is doing awesome and it really makes me happy. I've never been this connected to an election or politcs at all. I've always enjoyed arguing my views, but before I would never call myself a big fan of politics. Well that has changed a bit. I'm passionate about politics lately. I will not write too much about it now. But Barack is going to get the Democrat nomination and that is wonderful news!

Much love to all my family and friends.

Until next time...

Barack and I both running a long race...

2008-02-07T15:19:00.000-08:00

Well I'm sure everyone has seen or heard about Super Tuesday. It was a big day and the Barack camp has a lot to be excited about. We are still in this race and every day things are looking better. I will not go on too much about the campaign because I could go for hours... But I will say that the next few states voting look good for us. The more time Barack has with voters the more they see he is the better candidate. I don't anticipate that we will know the answer anytime soon... But we are the front-runner in my opinion...

As far as the race I'm training for... the marathon. Trainging has been going well so far. I woke up this morning and ran 4 miles near the beach. It was a bit chilly this morning but has turned out to be a beautiful day in Santa Monica. I train with my team on Sunday and I'm looking forward to that.

If you haven't had a chance to donate... please do so. Any amount will help me reach my goal. Click on this website here. http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/tntglaMGilber

School is going well and work is work...

Until next time... Running toward the finish line.

Long time no post...

2008-02-02T18:32:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since my last post... My apologies... as if anyone reads this. But things have been busy... I went to Oklahoma last weekend to surprise my younger brother. He got initiated into Phi Gamma Delta, which was the same Fraternity I was in at OSU. It was pretty special to be able to share that with him. I know he was relieve to be finished with his pledgeship. But such a rewarding experience and he will only continue to grow with his Brothers for the next 4 years.

I really enjoyed that weekend trip back to Oklahoma. I had a rough time getting there with 2 canceled flights, but it was all worth it. I spent the majority of the weekend with my family and suprisingly really enjoyed it. I say suprisingly because if you know my family, they can be a lot to handle. Let me rephrase that... they are a lot to handle. So a full weekend with them is often stressful for me. But this weekend was different... I really enjoyed myself and it made me miss home terribly.

So catching back up to this week. It was a stressful week at work and if felt like Friday couldnt' get here soon enough.

Today I went to my marathon kick off and met some people from my team that I will be training with. I also went and bought some new running shoes because they stressed that the shoes are just as important as the training. So I wanted to make sure that I bought some shoes that were right for my feet.

Church tomorrow and then back to the grind on Monday.

Big day on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to casting my vote for Barack Obama here in California.

It's time to Run...

2008-01-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

A marathon that is...

Well I decided that I'm going to run in the Rock 'n' Roll Marathon in San Diego on June 1.

I'm got a full plate, but I think this will be extremely rewarding and there is no better feeling than setting a goal and accomplishing it. Not to mention it's for a great cause.

Click on this link to donate and help me reach my goal.

http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/tntglaMGilber

I will continue to blog my thoughts and now my progress with the training.

Where I work.

2008-01-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

So here is a picture of where I spend 8 hours of my day... The glorioius cube life at MTV. Not as fancy as the Real World house right?

I did some homework last night... Surprised? Yeah, me too! I read my first complete chapter EVER in a textbook. Yes that's right, I graduated from OSU without ever reading a complete chapter of a textbook. I'm going to equate that to being smart and not a bad student...haha.

Grad school seems like it may be a bit different... I'm enjoying it so far. I have a paper due tomorrow. Anyone wanna make some extra money writing this paper for me? What? That only worked in undergad?? Haha. I'm kidding...kind of.

So this is where I work. I like it! I'm going to run the Santa Monica Stairs after work. They are pretty intense. I will post a picture of the stairs tomorrow. I ran them on Saturday and yesterday was the first day my legs weren't sore anymore.

I've also just started on my second 1.5L bottle of water. I've had to pee like 33 times too.

Oh wait!!! I forgot to tell everyone what happened yesterday at my so called Prison. I was about to get on the elevator here at MTV and the doors open up and you wouldn't believe who walked out with her entourage. Any guesses??? JANET JACKSON! I was floored. I just stared as she and her entourage exited the elevator. That was a pretty big celebrity sighting. She had glasses on and a very solemn look on her face. But I must say she was very attractive and from what I could tell she was in pretty good shape. So that made the afternoon at work exciting. So when things like that happen around the office, it makes it a good day!

Back to work...

Just Beachin'

2008-01-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

After an eventful Saturday, I figured I should make Sunday the same... I woke up early and went to the gym, then headed to church, then went to the beach! It was a beautiful weekend in Santa Monica, so I had to be outside. A friend of mine from OSU came over and we all walked down to the beach and just sat on a bench and people watched. There is some great people watching in California. This picture doesn't really do the day justice.

Back at work today and wishing I was still sitting at the beach. I struggled to get out of bed this morning. There is a place called the "Santa Monica Stairs." It's very LA. Haha. It's basically all of these steep stairs that wind up a hill. People go and run and walk the stairs. It's funny because you have all these people doing the stairs. Sometimes I think people go to be seen...but then there are those of us that actually go to work out. Well long story short... I ran the stairs on Saturday and having a hard time walking today. My legs are so sore.

Well I just had my green tea for the morning, so hopefully I will wake up a bit.

I start class this week and it looks like it might be a little tougher than I expected. Santa Monica Library and I are going to be best buds.

Passion for more than a cause...

2008-01-12T14:48:00.001-08:00

I went and volunteered for the Barack Obama campaign today. I've never volunteered for a political campaign... but I guess I've never been this passionate about a candidate either.

What was amazing was to see the amount of people that packed this small auditorium in the Santa Monica library to learn how they could help make a difference.

We are all volunteering because we trust Barack and are passionate that he can bring some unity to this broken country.

I want to see some barriers broken. I will admit that it has become personal to me. I received an email today from someone who I will not mention their name. But it bashed Barack and called him a racist and made false accusations about his religion or upbringing as a child. It just really upset me.

Isn't it time that we stop name calling and pointing fingers. I mean as cliche as it sounds... We are all Americans! and take it a step further. We are all people. Take away our skin color, gender, religion, we all bleed the same color. You have to walk in someone shoes before you understand where they have been. Well I remember what it's like to feel like you weren't accepted because your skin was a little darker than the other kids or adults.

And I'm not trying to make this a race thing because I don't think that is what it should be about at all.

But we should begin to think about what it really means to be an American and that right now we are in the middle of an election that embodies the true American dream. We have a woman, a black man, a mormon all trying to become the next President of this country. Only in America... that is something to be proud of and we should unite together to truly overcome our differences to work together to make this world better.

I don't care who you vote for... but support someone. Have passion for something... Have the hope and faith that change is possible!

P.S. I also went to a Hip Hop class today and it was a lot of fun. Beautiful day in Santa Monica!

Tastes like French Fries

2008-01-10T15:11:00.000-08:00

Eating healthy isn't easy... I'm amazed that we can send a man to the moon, but we can't get carrots to taste like French Fries. I know that sounds crazy...but think about it. With as advanced as we are you would think that we could create something that is really healthy but tastes exactly like In N Out Burger's fries.

I only bring up this point because I've been on my health kick again. I don't like to call it a "health kick"...but lets be honest here. I actually am in a fitness challenge 2008. My best friend from high school and I made a bet of who could be in the best shape by March 8. I'm going to win... I work out regularly already, but it just gave me some extra motivation to eat better and have harder workouts.

So today, I was craving a burger and french fries...but opted for some vegetable soup and a piece of fruit. I'll have my 2nd protein shake of the day which I'll pretend is a big bowl of ice cream too.

The good news in all this is that I'm getting ripped. Haha. I look forward to my workouts after work.

Tomorrow is Friday and I couldn't be happier. I'm sitting at work right now in a daze trying to worry about today but drifting into tomorrow, next week, and next year.

Focus on the now! Well that was a good break from work to do a little blogging.

Oh one more thing... Whatever happened to the piece of gum that was suppose to be a three course meal?? Remember that in Willy Wonka? Violet ate the gum that tasted like steak and mashed potatos and then blueberry pie.

Come on people... Haha.

A Defeat... But Not Defeated!

2008-01-08T22:37:00.001-08:00

Tonight didn't work out for us in New Hampshire. I have to admit that I really thought Barack was going to pull it off. The race tightens and gives me even more anxiety...

But we have a long race ahead of us... It isn't over.

It got me thinking about how we react when faced with adversity. It's always easier when we are on top and I think that is true with our lives as well.

Well I ordered my books and I start my first grad class next Monday. I have orientation tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to the classes and I hope i can balance school and work at the same time. Who am I kidding? I'll be fine! Haha.

I decided to be social tonight. I had dinner with some old co workers from NYC. They all live in LA now as well. We all use to work at NBC together. I felt bad because the television was on MSNBC and I was completely distracted by the results of the primary. But it was good to see them. It's good to know you have a few friends in this big crazy city.

Last night my neighbor Charlotte made steaks for my roommate and I. They were really awesome and it was fun just sitting back and chatting over a glass of wine.

I think I often underestimate the people in my life. I have some really good relationships here in LA and I don't want to take them forgranted. Remember a few months ago when I decided to start living for the "right now". Well it's time for a refresher course in that... If you spend too much time thinking about tomorrow, you will miss out on today. Now that isn't some deep philosophy...just a simple truth.

This sounds dumb... but I'm kind of looking forward to spending some time at the Santa Monica Library. I'm sure I will do some studying there.

Everytime I hear Barack speak he makes me want to try and change the world. Regardless of who gets the nomination he has touched the lives of many people and inspired them with his messages of hope and change. He has inspired me!

I'm just one vote... Hope is never false and words DO matter! Hope and words inspire people to make change.

Word for the year CHANGE! Everybody's using it. Haha! LOL!

Good Night.

A New Year

2008-01-06T13:12:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

So far things are looking good in 2008. I spent New Year's in Dallas with some close friends. I really enjoy getting to spend time with my friends. I did a lot of traveling over the holidays and it was good to get back to LA and relax a bit. Of course, I wasn't looking forward to going back to work...but what can you do.

Good News... I was accepted to Gonzaga University! This was really great news to start my year off with. I will be pursuing a Masters of Arts in Communication and Leadership Studies. I'm looking to start my first class next week. Kind of scary and exciting all at the same time.

I've spent a great deal of time following the presidential debates and primaries. It was a huge victory for Barack Obama to win Iowa. I'm hoping he can pull off another win in New Hampshire on Tuesday. I watched all four hours of the debates last night and enjoyed every minute of it. I think this election is such an important election and I'm so excited to be a part of it.

Barack's win in Iowa was a truly historical night for many reasons... If he can win New Hampshire, I think he will be the democractic nominee, which makes me so excited. I've been a Barack supporter every since he was elected as a Senator.

I could go on and on... but I will not.

I'm began a pretty hardcore workout again. All of the holiday eating kind of put a kink in my health kick I've been on... So back to the gym and eating properly.

I've been bad about blogging lately. I've been in a pretty good place though lately. I think the recharge of friends and family really helped me out. I'm looking forward to some great things ahead in my future. I'm not sure what they are just yet... but I know they are there.

But I'm a grad student!!! Wow!

So this was Christmas...

2007-12-28T09:37:00.000-08:00

So it has been too long since I've posted on here. I guess I got caught up in the Holidays. Coming off a tough week at work, I was really looking forward to getting back to OKC to spend some quality time friends and family.

Christmas was different this year. It didn't really feel like Christmas to me. I'm not sure if it was the weather in LA or just the fact that the Holidays snuck up on me this year. Either way, it was still a great Christmas. I really enjoyed getting to spend time with my family in OKC. Unlike previous years, I really wanted to spend as much time with family as I could. I'm normally quick to get out and hang out with friends, but I made it a point to stick around the family a bit more this year.

As much as they drive me crazy, they really are so important to me. My family has such an interesting dynamic. We don't come from money and we were all raised a bit non traditionally, we argue a lot, BUT there is this closeness between everyone that is unlike anything I've seen in a lot of other families. Definitely a lot of love mixed into all the playful fighting. A closeness that I wouldn't trade for anything. It's hard to explain, but there is definitely a tremendous amount of communication and love which I don't see with many other families. For that... I am extremely blessed and thankful.

I just flew from OKC back to LA on Wednesday. I was suppose to go to work on Wednesday but my flight was delayed and caused me to get in too late. Luckily, there wasn't anything important happening at work. I'm actually flying back to OKC today. I know, I'm a bit crazy. But I want to spend New Years in Dallas with some close friends. So we will drive from OKC to Dallas tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting to spend time with my friends in Dallas. One of my best friends and his wife live in Orlando and they will be in town tomorrow. Plus I will get to see the Frys, the Nguyens, the almost Grinnells, the almost Tates... yes all my friends are pretty much married. My day will come one day... God willing...

So I'm still waiting to hear from Gonzaga. I think I should hear something this week or next week. My sister was trying to get me to move back to Oklahoma while I was in town. It's tempting... but I'm not sure that is something I want to do. I'm praying that God will direct my future steps and lead me in the right direction.

God is really amazing and I'm so thankful for the family and friends that he has blessed me with. I do feel extremely fortunate to have such amazing people in my life.

So this was Christmas... and it was wonderful.

the floor is falling...

2007-12-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

So I wanted to quit my job this morning... Came pretty close to putting in my 2 weeks actually. Then I started to think... How are you going to pay your rent? I was proabably about 2 minutes away from quitting.

Today has been a tough day. Everyday you feel like you are searching...just searching for what is right...what will make you happy and excited to get out of bed in the morning. It's definitely not this job.

I need to begin to focus again... Whenever I lose focus for just a few days, I feel like things start to crumble around me. It's almost like the floor begins to fall and you are left teetering on this one piece, not really knowing how to get to the other side.. You want to jump, but you aren't sure you will make it to the other side. It's almost like a bad dream. So you just stand there on that one piece of floor left...scared and searching for a way to get across.

That's kind of how I feel right now... like I'm standing in the middle of the grand canyon on one big rock that lifts high above everything else. Stranded... helpless.

I need to hit the gym and hit the Word tonight. God please be with me through this... give me understanding and clarity to make the right decisions. Give me strengh to fight.

Is it Saturday?

2007-12-15T14:26:00.000-08:00

Very short trip to NYC. I flew in Wed. night and left Friday. There is something about that city that I just love. I know everything happens for a reason...but a big part of me wishes I would have stayed in NYC for another year. I probably should have given the city a little more time. I'm not really sure why I ran from the city so fast. I guess a good lesson could be when the going gets tough... stick it out...don't pack up and run. But I'm here on the West coast and needing to make the best of it. I'm giving it some time...

Today is a beautiful day in Santa Monica. Dustin, Charlotte, and I went to a hip/hop class this morning. It was way too beginner for me...but they enjoyed it. It was good to get out of the apartment and get some cardio this morning. Then we grabbed some lunch. There is a ton of stuff I need to do today, but still feeling really tired. I think the quick trip to NYC really threw me off. With the 6 hour flights there and back and the time change. I'm feeling a bit out of it. I woke up this morning thinking I had to be at work, then realized it is Saturday.

I should hear before Christmas whether or not I was accepted to Gonzaga's Master's program. Looking forward to finding out... even though if I do get in... it creates some tough decisions I have to make. I'm still praying for clarity in this whole decision.

Going to try to get out of the apartment tonight and go to a holiday party that I was invited to. There is a girl named Liz who works at MTV and she invited me to a holiday party that her parents throw every year at their house. Could be really awkward... but I told her I would go, so I need to. I imagine it will be similar to those Christmas parties at peoples houses that you see on TV. People dressed nice... eating finger foods... and socializing. I think it will be a good time. I may need to take a nap first though. Meeting new people always takes a lot of energy.

I'm looking forward to another short week at work. I leave Thursday night to fly back to OKC for the Holidays. It will be nice to see friends and family. Always refreshing and a much needed recharge.

I want to get married... so if anyone wants to start helping me find a wife. That would be great. Thanks.

Back in NYC

2007-12-12T22:25:00.001-08:00

I flew to NYC today and I'm currently sitting in my hotel. It's late here, but I'm still on LA time that is 3 hours ahead of NYC. The flight here was actually really great. I had a whole row to myself and was able to completely lie down. This is rare with the coast to coast flights. They are normally packed. But I watched a movie and then took a long nap. Before I knew it...we were in New York. I miss this city!

I'm here for work and for mtvU's Holiday Party. We have meetings all day tomorrow and then the Holiday party is tomorrow night. Then back on a plane to LA on Friday.

I will try to write more later. I actually just got tired and think I will head to bed now.

Lovin' be back back in NYC!

The Weekend... San Francisco Treat

2007-12-09T22:02:00.000-08:00

I spent the weekend in San Francisco. I have a Fraternity brother that works for Google and he invited me up for the weekend. San Francisco is a really beautiful city and I had a great time. I hadn't seen Welter in a few months and it's always good to catch up with friends. We went to the Google Holiday party as well. Google is a pretty incredible company and they definitely do all they can to keep their employees happy. The Google complex, as I like to call it, was insane. I really enjoyed my visit, but don't think San Fran is a city I'd move to.

This week I will finish up the application process for graduate school at Gonzaga. I should know within the next two weeks whether or not I get accepted into the program. I'm still praying about all of this and hope that God will provide a way for this to all happen if it's His will.

I'm flying to NYC on Wed. for work. I miss NYC a lot so I'm looking forward to going back and freezing my butt off. Haha. I'm sure it will be extremely cold there.

Being a light in this dark world is not the easiest thing. I think it's important to realize that living the life we have been called to live is not easy. I found myself getting very frustrated with myself last week. I was having a discussion with some people at work... The conversation started with us talking about a movie... then led to politics... and evenutally religion. It was definitely one of those moments that God provided me an opportunity to share my faith with some co workers. I was open about my faith and discussed why I believed what I believed. But then begin to face some tough questions about the Bible and more in depth questions about my religion. I felt like I failed in a way because I wasn't able to answer some of their questions. Faith is what I stand on and it's often easy for a non believer to argue against that. I pray that the next time I have this conversation with my co workers that God will guide my words. Hopefully I was able to plant some type of a seed. I have a ton of growing left to do and hope I never stop growing. I invited one of them to church with me.

Back to work tomorrow. It will be a short week in the office due to my NYC trip.

I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and family at Christmas. Only 11 more days until I fly home.

Checkout

2007-12-06T08:48:00.000-08:00

I guess I have missed a few days of posting. The Holidays in LA are strange to me. It's December, but yesterday I could have worn shorts. But everyone that is from LA have their scarf and coat. They try to act like it's cold...but it's not! I just think that's kind of amusing.

Work has been going okay. It looks like I'll be traveling to NYC next week for work. I love getting to go back to NYC, because I really miss it. It's also a very tiring to spend 6 hours on a plane and then deal with a three hour time change. But I'm definitely not complaining I enjoy getting to travel.

I am flying to San Fransisco tomorrow evening to visit one of my Fraternity brothers. He works for Google! I think that's pretty cool. Chris (another one of my fraternity brothers) is going as well. We are all going to the Google Christmas Party. Google was voted the number 1 company to work for... so I'm sure this will be an event to talk about.

I've beginning studying for an exam to get into Grad school. I'm almost finished with the application and the only thing missing are my exam scores. I'm a little worreid about the exam because I'm not good at taking tests... But I figure if I'm meant to get into Gonzaga then it will all work out.

Yesterday I was in Barnes and Noble buying some Christmas cards and as I stood there in the long line to check out... the person in front of me and behind me started talking. Just chatting about how long the line was taking, the weather, snow...etc. At first, I wanted them to stop because I knew that since I was in the middle it was only a matter of time before they included me in their checkout line chatter. Sure enough the lady started asking me questions... I talked to her for a bit but was also relieved when the cashier finally said "next person in line". I don't want to be that person that is annoyed with the nosey lady asking me questions about my Christmas card. But I was that person last night... After I walked out of the store, I kind of felt bad for being annoyed with the lady behind me. People no matter where they live are longing for relationships or contact with others. For all I know, I could have been the only person that woman got to talk to all day long. My point is that I missed a good opportunity to let God's light shine last night. I was too caught up in the "me" game again. Of course, I was cordial and spoke to the woman... but I simply answered the 20 questions she had for me. I wasn't genuinely engaging in a conversation with her. Jesus would have stopped and talked to that woman, just because she obviously just wanted someone to talk to.

So the point of all that... You never know when God is giving you an opportunity to show his love. Don't be selfish... try to show God's love regardless of if you feel annoyed or inconvenienced. Hopefully I will get another opportunity soon.

Back to work. I'm going to make it a good day!

We are the car... God is the gas...

2007-12-03T18:30:00.000-08:00

I went to church here in LA on Sunday. When I first moved out here, I started going to a church called Mosaic. It was the closest thing I could find to LifeChurch. The praise and worship on Sunday was all Christmas songs. It really put me in the mood for Christmas even though it was really warm outside. It was funny though because all of the LA people were wearing a scarf and talking about how cold it was outside... They don't know cold. But I guess this is winter to them...

The message on Sunday was great and one thing in particular really stuck out to me.

"God sometimes has to meet us where we are to take us to where we can't go without him."

How true is that? I know that has definitely been true for me in this season of my life. God never leaves us and is always searching to be closer to us. But he isn't afraid to meet us in those low points to take us to where we need to go... a place we can't get without him. How wonderful to think about tomorrow and the places we can go when God is leading us.

Back to the grind on Monday. Today was a tough day at work. But tomorrow is a new day and I'm thankful for that. Starting this weekend I will be flying somewhere every weekend for the rest of the month. I enjoy traveling, but it's exhausting at the same time.

I would share more about my day at work... but I know that I would do more complaining than explaining. So to keep the negativity to a minimum, I'm going to skip that part and focus on how I can make tomorrow a better day.

Headed to the gym to clear my head...

Don't let your gas tank get to empty... We are the car... God is the gas. We can't get where we need to go without Him!

7-Eleven, But No Snow!

2007-12-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

I didn't get much done today. The day just kind of got away from me.

I went to rent a movie last night at Blockbuster. Yes, I was renting a movie on a Friday night. I was only there for a short time and walked out to find a $35 parking ticket on my car. Needless to say, I was a bit upset. But I should have put a quarter in the meter. I would have saved my self $34.75, if I would have just put one quarter in the meter. I still think it's dumb they give parking tickets out at the Blockbuster parking lot!

It was cool here in LA today. The wind was blowing hard and it reminded me of Oklahoma... minus the palm trees.

It made me think back to change again and how thankful I was for getting to put a jacket on when I walked outside today. You'd be surprised how much you miss the little things. I guess that's true with anything, not just the weather.

I watched LifeChurch online tonight. They have a service in OKC at 7pm and I'm able to watch it live here at 5pm. It's amazing how many ways God speaks to you. He speaks to us through his word, through other people, and lately he's spoke to me through the weather. Tonight's sermon was talking about Jesus, our Wonderful Counselor! It was a great message for this season of my life. Craig talked about getting really honest and telling God what you were sick with. Not necessarily in a physical state. It was encouraging because I felt like that has been something I've been doing this past couple of days. Getting really honest with God and myself.

I went to 7-Eleven tonight... which by the way they are only convenience stores and not gas stations. There is no gas in front. Kind of strange... But this old man was yelling at the cashier and she was yelling back at him. There were probably 6 people in the store that were just watching (and trying to act like they weren't) as these two people just yelled awful things at one another. So I stepped to the counter and just said to both of them "Merry Christmas to everyone." Haha! I don't know why or where that came from. But it did cause them to stop arguing for a second. They paused...both looked over at me...and then turned back and continued to yell obscenities. I felt for a second like I was in a Christmas movie and looked out the window hoping it would be snowing... But it wasn't.

Rain

2007-11-30T16:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and heard an unfamiliar noise... it was RAINING!!! I was actually really excited. Before I moved to California, I wasn't really a fan of the rain. It always seemed to ruin plans or just serve as an inconvenience. But when you move to a place that is sunny all the time, the slightest change in temperature or weather kind of puts a smile on your face. I've always grown up with seasons...I'm use to the weather changing. So I welcome the change.

The rain this morning reminded me that God is a God of change as well.

Speaking of change... change is hard, but I think it's okay. I think change can often be a good thing. We definitely learn through change and it can often prove to be a tremendous way to grow. I think my generation is a generation of changers...haha. We are no longer satisfied with staying in one place for too long or even with the same job for too long. I wonder if it is a lack of contentment or just a characteristic of a generation. We were raised to not settle, dream big, etc... Well for me that means frequent change. Now I'm not trying to get really deep here... remember these are just my thoughts. Throwing them out there.

I'm going to work on my letter of intent this weekend for Gonzaga University. I am applying for my Masters in Communication and Leadership. Financially...getting my Masters scares me. But I've always trusted that God will provide and thus far he has...

I'm looking at other Masters programs as well. I'm going to try to take the first few classes while I'm working and see how that goes. If I like it, I may continue doing that or possibly try and go back to school full time. Don't worry... I'll keep you posted.

I'm extremely thankful it's the weekend! Well I will be sure to let you know if anything exciting happens this weekend.

It rained today! The rain made my day and I don't think I've ever said that before.

Phillipians 2:5

2007-11-29T19:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Friday... Thank God! It's been a long week.

I tend to overthink things... Not sure where I get this from. It's very interesting because I'm actually a pretty impulsive person (which has got me in trouble numerous times). But then there are times when I think about things until my head hurts... I guess a little bit of impulse and thought can be a good thing when you mix them all together.

I've paused on Chazown right now. I'm trying to not rush through the book. I'm still reading the book, but pausing to pray about this vision God has for me. I want to make sure that it's the right one. So I'm stopping at the current chapter I'm at to really pray about it.

I'm torn about going back to school. Money is always an issue... If there were no financial concerns, I'm pretty sure I would go back in a heartbeat. Then I was trying to think if it would be wise to go full time or continue working. The idea of being back on a college campus is so appealing to me. But I can't make my decision based on me missing the good ol' college days.

I'm going to begin to really start praying for my wife. Don't laugh... Yes I hope to get married one of these days. I was looking at pictures on Facebook last night and ran across one of my fraternity brothers that just had a baby. First off...that's crazy. But wonderful at the same time. A family is definitely something that I want one of these days. So I'm praying for my wife and that God is preparing both of our hearts.

Had a good workout tonight. I'm looking forward to catching up on some television. Thursday night is a big night for TV. I'm slightly addicted to television and don't know what I would do without a DVR.

Okay I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'm going to go.

Phillipians 2:5 "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." This will be my focus for tomorrow.

God? Attitude? eBay?

2007-11-28T15:37:00.000-08:00

Does anyone really like their job? I find it so hard to be satisfied with my current job. I can't figure out if this is because it's not going along with my Chazown...or if I just need a better attitude. Believe me, I'm thankful that I have a job... but it's tough to have a good attitude when you don't completely enjoy what you are doing. I prayed for a better attitude at work today. There were some things that happened at work that just really put me in a mood that almost ruined my day. The enemy likes to attack you when you are doing well. I had a great day yesterday so... it was time to attack. I was much more prepared this time.

Then I had ordered this item on eBay that is really hard to find and when it arrived today it was completely broken... not even useable. I'm hoping that I get my money back for that.

This morning I thought that God talked to me but I'm not exactly sure... I know that sounds a little crazy. But I can't figure out if it was just me talking to myself or if God was really speaking to me. I've been seriously considering going back to school to get my Master's and be a teacher. I've been praying about this decision and if this is the vision that God is placing on my heart. This morning I was reading Luke and it was talking about Jesus teaching in the synagogues and teaching his disciples. After praying this morning...as I was getting in my car to go to work. I think God was saying over and over again. "Michael, you will teach the generations and be a good teacher just as Jesus was." That's what I heard. It wasn't a loud and audible voice... but simply a voice in my head. But there were two voices. As God was saying "Michael, you will teach the generations and be a good teacher just as Jesus was." the other voice was saying... "Are you sure? Really? Is this God" I just realize that I admitted there were two voices in my head this morning... does that make me crazy? Haha. Maybe!

Well then I'm crazy for the will God has in my life. I'm continuing to pray that he will be very clear and if it was God... I'm hoping to hear from him again.

Let me see how I can tie this all together... Sorry I've got nothing. Haha.

God...Attitude...eBay

Tomorrow is a new day!

God's Non-Fiction Shelf

2007-11-27T09:22:00.000-08:00

I had a great workout last night. I enjoy going to the gym. It's amazing how much better you feel when you excercise. I'm trying to get back into my routine. I was a workout machine there for a while...haha.

Back at work on this wonderful Tuesday. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends from college. I am blessed to have such great friends and family.

As I continued to read Chazown last night you really start to realize that finding your Chazown or the vision God has for your life is not the easiest task. I never once thought it would be easy...partly the reason why it's taken me so long to open this book. It's challenging to think about your core values, spritual gifts, and past experiences (both good and bad). But according to Craig, once you pin those down you will begin to see the relation between the three thus reveavling God's vision for you. Of course this doesn't happen over night... I believe that it involves prayer and patience as well. It's a little frustrating to think that the dream you've been following might not be the purpose God intended you to accomplish. It's also empowering, because once we begin to live out God's purpose according to His plan. We are unstoppable!

It's definitely a battle though. Like I said in a previous entry... Writing a new chapter doesn't happen over night. Sure you can sit down and write a chapter in a fiction book in one setting... but that's the point! This story of our lives is not a fiction novel. It's on God's Non-Fiction shelf! You can only write one page each day... I think it's kind of funny that I have all these references to chapters, stories, and books. I don't really enjoy reading...haha. But I think it makes sense if you think about it all this way. It helps me and I hope that it helps someone out there too.

Oh it's Monday...

2007-11-26T10:54:00.001-08:00

So I've had some people contact me to say they read my blog. At first my stomach kind of drops and you feel a little vulnerable... Then they say that they have dealt with or are dealing with the same issues. That is comforting and encouraging to know that you aren't alone in your struggles. I have always known this, but until you open up a true dialogue with other people, it's impossible to grow. We are not fighting this battle alone!

I definitely didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Every part of my body was telling me it was a Monday! But I snoozed the alarm a few times and dragged myself out of bed. I was able to squeeze in a little reading time this morning as well.

I've started reading a book that I've wanted to read for the longest time. To be honest... I haven't picked up the book because I was scared of the book. I know that sounds crazy. The book is called Chazown by Craig Groeschel. Craig is the pastor of Life Church back home. I really miss getting to go to Life. Back to the book... Chazown - Hebrew for "vision" - God's unique plan for your personal fulfillment. It's about discovering your core values, realizing your spiritual gifts, and learning to use past experiences to form your future.

"Setbacks are often setups for God to work"

Well I better get back to work. I got a new neighbor today at work. His name is Reggie. I had been sitting alone for a while, so it will be nice to have someone to talk to at work. He is a nice guy. Definitely had a lot more energy than I did this morning...

Living Without Vision

2007-11-25T14:17:00.000-08:00

It's more difficult than you think to write a new chapter in your story. It's not just putting words down on paper or typing them in a blog. Writing a new chapter takes time and you can only write one page each day. Plus I have to realize that I'm only a co-author in this story... God is writing the other half. In fact he has already written his half... I know that I must seek him to complete this chapter.

I had lunch with my neighbor today. My neighbor is wonderful and has a wonderful heart...so genuine. I felt disheartened that I couldn't fully express the things on my heart today. We are always so afraid of being judged by others that we dance around the issues. I wanted to express to my neighbor my need to reconnect with God on a deeper spiritual level. I wanted to say that this person I had become was not the person that God intended me to be. I wanted to say that I was searching for my VISION. But I didn't really feel like I could convey those things. She just listened...which is often what we are all looking for...someone to listen to us...someone to hear us.

Where there is no vision that you were created to have a growing, lifelong, and personal relationship with your Creator, your inner being withers and dies.

Where there is no vision that you have been placed on earth to matter deeply to other people, and reveal God's love and power to htem, you live in loneliness and your relationships perish.

I'm ready to find this vision. I'm ready to bring new life to my inner being. I'm ready to recognize the person that I've been staring at in the mirror.

I've started to write this chapter many times before... and always left it incomplete. I'm picking up where I left off...the good news is that my co-author... He's still around and always will be!

Stop and Stare

2007-11-25T11:37:00.000-08:00

Our lives are a story... each chapter unique. Some chapters better than others... This particular chapter is one of the hardest.

What do you do when you wake up and don't recognize the person in the mirror? It was the eyes that gave it away. The eyes overflowing with pain, regret, and guilt. This person I saw was not the person I expected to see or the person I wanted to be.

Music is a beautiful thing and it's amazing to me that sometimes you hear a song and feel like that song was written for the particular chapter of your life. There is a song called "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic. The lyrics to this song describe the current season of my life.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Stop and Stare by OneRepublic

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...
----------------------------------------------------------------

I've become what I can't be...

I called on God this morning. It had been too long. Today I felt so far removed... I guess I had hit a point of desperation. It's funny that we often wait until we hit rock bottom to call on Him. It had been too long for me. I can't remember the last time I felt like I was truly connected to God. I've just been living...mistake after mistake after mistake! It's an awful feeling to know right from wrong and yet too often you still choose the wrong. Temptations of the world are heavy and so is the guilt that comes along with those temptations. My guilt has become a burden... a burden so heavy...that I can't carry it alone anymore. I am not my past and I am not the mistakes that I've made. Temptation does not come from our Heavenly father and neither does the guilt associated with those temptations. I'm forgiven for my past and I have a clean slate. A blank page to write a new chapter in this ongoing story. It's a beautiful story...

Stop and stare at the blank page. As I begin to write my new chapter...