So this was Christmas...

So it has been too long since I've posted on here. I guess I got caught up in the Holidays. Coming off a tough week at work, I was really looking forward to getting back to OKC to spend some quality time friends and family.

Christmas was different this year. It didn't really feel like Christmas to me. I'm not sure if it was the weather in LA or just the fact that the Holidays snuck up on me this year. Either way, it was still a great Christmas. I really enjoyed getting to spend time with my family in OKC. Unlike previous years, I really wanted to spend as much time with family as I could. I'm normally quick to get out and hang out with friends, but I made it a point to stick around the family a bit more this year.

As much as they drive me crazy, they really are so important to me. My family has such an interesting dynamic. We don't come from money and we were all raised a bit non traditionally, we argue a lot, BUT there is this closeness between everyone that is unlike anything I've seen in a lot of other families. Definitely a lot of love mixed into all the playful fighting. A closeness that I wouldn't trade for anything. It's hard to explain, but there is definitely a tremendous amount of communication and love which I don't see with many other families. For that... I am extremely blessed and thankful.

I just flew from OKC back to LA on Wednesday. I was suppose to go to work on Wednesday but my flight was delayed and caused me to get in too late. Luckily, there wasn't anything important happening at work. I'm actually flying back to OKC today. I know, I'm a bit crazy. But I want to spend New Years in Dallas with some close friends. So we will drive from OKC to Dallas tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting to spend time with my friends in Dallas. One of my best friends and his wife live in Orlando and they will be in town tomorrow. Plus I will get to see the Frys, the Nguyens, the almost Grinnells, the almost Tates... yes all my friends are pretty much married. My day will come one day... God willing...

So I'm still waiting to hear from Gonzaga. I think I should hear something this week or next week. My sister was trying to get me to move back to Oklahoma while I was in town. It's tempting... but I'm not sure that is something I want to do. I'm praying that God will direct my future steps and lead me in the right direction.

God is really amazing and I'm so thankful for the family and friends that he has blessed me with. I do feel extremely fortunate to have such amazing people in my life.

So this was Christmas... and it was wonderful.

the floor is falling...

So I wanted to quit my job this morning... Came pretty close to putting in my 2 weeks actually. Then I started to think... How are you going to pay your rent? I was proabably about 2 minutes away from quitting.

Today has been a tough day. Everyday you feel like you are searching...just searching for what is right...what will make you happy and excited to get out of bed in the morning. It's definitely not this job.

I need to begin to focus again... Whenever I lose focus for just a few days, I feel like things start to crumble around me. It's almost like the floor begins to fall and you are left teetering on this one piece, not really knowing how to get to the other side.. You want to jump, but you aren't sure you will make it to the other side. It's almost like a bad dream. So you just stand there on that one piece of floor left...scared and searching for a way to get across.

That's kind of how I feel right now... like I'm standing in the middle of the grand canyon on one big rock that lifts high above everything else. Stranded... helpless.

I need to hit the gym and hit the Word tonight. God please be with me through this... give me understanding and clarity to make the right decisions. Give me strengh to fight.

Is it Saturday?

Very short trip to NYC. I flew in Wed. night and left Friday. There is something about that city that I just love. I know everything happens for a reason...but a big part of me wishes I would have stayed in NYC for another year. I probably should have given the city a little more time. I'm not really sure why I ran from the city so fast. I guess a good lesson could be when the going gets tough... stick it out...don't pack up and run. But I'm here on the West coast and needing to make the best of it. I'm giving it some time...

Today is a beautiful day in Santa Monica. Dustin, Charlotte, and I went to a hip/hop class this morning. It was way too beginner for me...but they enjoyed it. It was good to get out of the apartment and get some cardio this morning. Then we grabbed some lunch. There is a ton of stuff I need to do today, but still feeling really tired. I think the quick trip to NYC really threw me off. With the 6 hour flights there and back and the time change. I'm feeling a bit out of it. I woke up this morning thinking I had to be at work, then realized it is Saturday.

I should hear before Christmas whether or not I was accepted to Gonzaga's Master's program. Looking forward to finding out... even though if I do get in... it creates some tough decisions I have to make. I'm still praying for clarity in this whole decision.

Going to try to get out of the apartment tonight and go to a holiday party that I was invited to. There is a girl named Liz who works at MTV and she invited me to a holiday party that her parents throw every year at their house. Could be really awkward... but I told her I would go, so I need to. I imagine it will be similar to those Christmas parties at peoples houses that you see on TV. People dressed nice... eating finger foods... and socializing. I think it will be a good time. I may need to take a nap first though. Meeting new people always takes a lot of energy.

I'm looking forward to another short week at work. I leave Thursday night to fly back to OKC for the Holidays. It will be nice to see friends and family. Always refreshing and a much needed recharge.

I want to get married... so if anyone wants to start helping me find a wife. That would be great. Thanks.

Back in NYC

I flew to NYC today and I'm currently sitting in my hotel. It's late here, but I'm still on LA time that is 3 hours ahead of NYC. The flight here was actually really great. I had a whole row to myself and was able to completely lie down. This is rare with the coast to coast flights. They are normally packed. But I watched a movie and then took a long nap. Before I knew it...we were in New York. I miss this city!

I'm here for work and for mtvU's Holiday Party. We have meetings all day tomorrow and then the Holiday party is tomorrow night. Then back on a plane to LA on Friday.

I will try to write more later. I actually just got tired and think I will head to bed now.

Lovin' be back back in NYC!

The Weekend... San Francisco Treat

I spent the weekend in San Francisco. I have a Fraternity brother that works for Google and he invited me up for the weekend. San Francisco is a really beautiful city and I had a great time. I hadn't seen Welter in a few months and it's always good to catch up with friends. We went to the Google Holiday party as well. Google is a pretty incredible company and they definitely do all they can to keep their employees happy. The Google complex, as I like to call it, was insane. I really enjoyed my visit, but don't think San Fran is a city I'd move to.

This week I will finish up the application process for graduate school at Gonzaga. I should know within the next two weeks whether or not I get accepted into the program. I'm still praying about all of this and hope that God will provide a way for this to all happen if it's His will.

I'm flying to NYC on Wed. for work. I miss NYC a lot so I'm looking forward to going back and freezing my butt off. Haha. I'm sure it will be extremely cold there.

Being a light in this dark world is not the easiest thing. I think it's important to realize that living the life we have been called to live is not easy. I found myself getting very frustrated with myself last week. I was having a discussion with some people at work... The conversation started with us talking about a movie... then led to politics... and evenutally religion. It was definitely one of those moments that God provided me an opportunity to share my faith with some co workers. I was open about my faith and discussed why I believed what I believed. But then begin to face some tough questions about the Bible and more in depth questions about my religion. I felt like I failed in a way because I wasn't able to answer some of their questions. Faith is what I stand on and it's often easy for a non believer to argue against that. I pray that the next time I have this conversation with my co workers that God will guide my words. Hopefully I was able to plant some type of a seed. I have a ton of growing left to do and hope I never stop growing. I invited one of them to church with me.

Back to work tomorrow. It will be a short week in the office due to my NYC trip.

I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and family at Christmas. Only 11 more days until I fly home.

Checkout

I guess I have missed a few days of posting. The Holidays in LA are strange to me. It's December, but yesterday I could have worn shorts. But everyone that is from LA have their scarf and coat. They try to act like it's cold...but it's not! I just think that's kind of amusing.

Work has been going okay. It looks like I'll be traveling to NYC next week for work. I love getting to go back to NYC, because I really miss it. It's also a very tiring to spend 6 hours on a plane and then deal with a three hour time change. But I'm definitely not complaining I enjoy getting to travel.

I am flying to San Fransisco tomorrow evening to visit one of my Fraternity brothers. He works for Google! I think that's pretty cool. Chris (another one of my fraternity brothers) is going as well. We are all going to the Google Christmas Party. Google was voted the number 1 company to work for... so I'm sure this will be an event to talk about.

I've beginning studying for an exam to get into Grad school. I'm almost finished with the application and the only thing missing are my exam scores. I'm a little worreid about the exam because I'm not good at taking tests... But I figure if I'm meant to get into Gonzaga then it will all work out.

Yesterday I was in Barnes and Noble buying some Christmas cards and as I stood there in the long line to check out... the person in front of me and behind me started talking. Just chatting about how long the line was taking, the weather, snow...etc. At first, I wanted them to stop because I knew that since I was in the middle it was only a matter of time before they included me in their checkout line chatter. Sure enough the lady started asking me questions... I talked to her for a bit but was also relieved when the cashier finally said "next person in line". I don't want to be that person that is annoyed with the nosey lady asking me questions about my Christmas card. But I was that person last night... After I walked out of the store, I kind of felt bad for being annoyed with the lady behind me. People no matter where they live are longing for relationships or contact with others. For all I know, I could have been the only person that woman got to talk to all day long. My point is that I missed a good opportunity to let God's light shine last night. I was too caught up in the "me" game again. Of course, I was cordial and spoke to the woman... but I simply answered the 20 questions she had for me. I wasn't genuinely engaging in a conversation with her. Jesus would have stopped and talked to that woman, just because she obviously just wanted someone to talk to.

So the point of all that... You never know when God is giving you an opportunity to show his love. Don't be selfish... try to show God's love regardless of if you feel annoyed or inconvenienced. Hopefully I will get another opportunity soon.

Back to work. I'm going to make it a good day!

We are the car... God is the gas...

I went to church here in LA on Sunday. When I first moved out here, I started going to a church called Mosaic. It was the closest thing I could find to LifeChurch. The praise and worship on Sunday was all Christmas songs. It really put me in the mood for Christmas even though it was really warm outside. It was funny though because all of the LA people were wearing a scarf and talking about how cold it was outside... They don't know cold. But I guess this is winter to them...

The message on Sunday was great and one thing in particular really stuck out to me.

"God sometimes has to meet us where we are to take us to where we can't go without him."

How true is that? I know that has definitely been true for me in this season of my life. God never leaves us and is always searching to be closer to us. But he isn't afraid to meet us in those low points to take us to where we need to go... a place we can't get without him. How wonderful to think about tomorrow and the places we can go when God is leading us.

Back to the grind on Monday. Today was a tough day at work. But tomorrow is a new day and I'm thankful for that. Starting this weekend I will be flying somewhere every weekend for the rest of the month. I enjoy traveling, but it's exhausting at the same time.

I would share more about my day at work... but I know that I would do more complaining than explaining. So to keep the negativity to a minimum, I'm going to skip that part and focus on how I can make tomorrow a better day.

Headed to the gym to clear my head...

Don't let your gas tank get to empty... We are the car... God is the gas. We can't get where we need to go without Him!

7-Eleven, But No Snow!

I didn't get much done today. The day just kind of got away from me.

I went to rent a movie last night at Blockbuster. Yes, I was renting a movie on a Friday night. I was only there for a short time and walked out to find a $35 parking ticket on my car. Needless to say, I was a bit upset. But I should have put a quarter in the meter. I would have saved my self $34.75, if I would have just put one quarter in the meter. I still think it's dumb they give parking tickets out at the Blockbuster parking lot!

It was cool here in LA today. The wind was blowing hard and it reminded me of Oklahoma... minus the palm trees.

It made me think back to change again and how thankful I was for getting to put a jacket on when I walked outside today. You'd be surprised how much you miss the little things. I guess that's true with anything, not just the weather.

I watched LifeChurch online tonight. They have a service in OKC at 7pm and I'm able to watch it live here at 5pm. It's amazing how many ways God speaks to you. He speaks to us through his word, through other people, and lately he's spoke to me through the weather. Tonight's sermon was talking about Jesus, our Wonderful Counselor! It was a great message for this season of my life. Craig talked about getting really honest and telling God what you were sick with. Not necessarily in a physical state. It was encouraging because I felt like that has been something I've been doing this past couple of days. Getting really honest with God and myself.

I went to 7-Eleven tonight... which by the way they are only convenience stores and not gas stations. There is no gas in front. Kind of strange... But this old man was yelling at the cashier and she was yelling back at him. There were probably 6 people in the store that were just watching (and trying to act like they weren't) as these two people just yelled awful things at one another. So I stepped to the counter and just said to both of them "Merry Christmas to everyone." Haha! I don't know why or where that came from. But it did cause them to stop arguing for a second. They paused...both looked over at me...and then turned back and continued to yell obscenities. I felt for a second like I was in a Christmas movie and looked out the window hoping it would be snowing... But it wasn't.